Severus Snape: Highly Decorated Hero
by galleons
Summary: Professor Severus Snape tackles his greatest feat. Convincing Professor Septima Vector not to marry a dolt, an even bigger dolt than he was. Well, he never actually had her to begin with.
1. Chapter 1: Fools in the Rain

**Severus Snape: Highly-Decorated Hero**

**Chapter 1: Fools in the Rain**

**Author's Note:** This is just delightful fun for the summer and really a love letter to my other fics. So, I feel like a dolt and hope it doesn't sound like I am re-routing anyone to my fics but this story makes many references and ironically came out by accident when I started _Miscellaneous Snape_, ficlets just to drabble and not do another story. So I did one-shots and I guess without the pressure of maintaining a story I think some of it is quite entertaining, er, to me anyway. Go figure! The only thing I can say is that for some of this story, to make sense of its background, you may just have to take a gander at _Miscellaneous Snape, chapter 4, How one Earns the Order of Merlin,_ because that ficlet was the basis for this, what is going to be a full-fledged story.

Disclaimer: I did not write, nor hope to profit from the Harry Potter books and characters, This is just for fun. All the money in the world couldn't make up for the kick I get out of coming up with this rubbish, and hoping to improve my writing skills for the hell of it. Just like all the money in the world is not going to help Snape get Vector back. What a bloody moron!

_**The Rehearsal Dinner – The Three Broomsticks – Hogsmeade – 3:00**_

The man stood out in the rain, his long, dark traveling cloak rippling out behind him in the breeze from the storm. His long curtains of black hair were blowing about as well, and there was a strained look on his pale thin face. If one looked closer they would see his eyes were wet and would have noticed beads of water dripping from his rather prominent nose as he shivered slightly in the rain. The black eyes had the deepest sadness and remorse in them if any of the people running into the pub trying to avoid the storm had bothered to look. They continued to file through the doors of the pub using cloaks, sections of the newspaper, The Daily Prophet; whatever they had to try to keep the rainwater off of them.

Lightening and thunder clapped and roared and for that he was grateful, because it broke his thoughts, thoughts that were threatening to strangle him and engulf him with more waves of misery.

He was standing outside of the pub where most of the wizarding world was gathering for the rehearsal dinner before the marriage at the end of the week of Professor Septima Emma Arabella Vector, Order of Merlin, Second class, Arithmancer, Charm inventor, novice curse breaker, and freelance advisor to Gringotts, Order of the Phoenx decorated member, and unofficial love of the latter part of his life.

A piece of the Prophet blew away and onto his chest. He rolled his eyes, knocked the paper to the ground, looked down, and saw the engagement announcement. And staring out at him was the sweet face he loved above all others.

He wanted a glimpse of her and then he would go and do….well, he had no damned clue what he would do exactly.

Wallow in self-pity, perhaps, for ever letting her slip through his grasp.

She was fairly in the palm of his hands, well, in his imagination. He had loved her for years, through much turmoil, in happy times at Hogwarts, on the eve of the possible destruction of the wizarding world, and he had ruined it all.

He was the biggest fool imaginable for not saying anything and letting her leave…because there was a moment when he had a slim chance. He knew it.

Over a year had passed…the Dark Lord was long gone, and Mia's old boyfriend, her childhood neighbor back in Wales, comes out of _bloody nowhere_, somehow swept her off her feet, (he detected some type of coercion, perhaps, a love potion,) and asked her to marry him.

He pondered that if it were true, it was enough for a marriage license to be denied…and then he knew that that was most likely not what occurred.

And, Septima, for Merlin-knew-whatever reason, positively gorgeous dolt that she was, Merlin, in his opinion, had never been so generous with such beauty, had foolishly accepted.

He still stood outside, traveling cloak billowing about violently in the winds that grew stronger, along with his black hair. The rain was now pouring down and thankfully mixing with his tears so nobody entering the pub noticed.

That… and he was invisible. As if, he'd desire anybody to run in and tell her he was standing outside like some lovesick daft, well, he thought of her words and how true they were, or a bloody moron!

He was sure that some people in the wizarding world knew, and was most likely talking. He had almost gotten himself killed and almost ruined the entire downfall of the Dark Lord because he could think of nothing but saving her.

But he wondered why some people didn't seem to be curious, to his knowledge, as to why he hadn't done anything about it. Probably still thought he was a cold, rotten to the core, bloody bastard that didn't love her as much as they had heard from gossip.

Actually, the stress had caused some of his hold on his magic to weaken. And his…his patronus had changed. And he hadn't wanted that because he still loved and honored Lily and cherished her memory.

_Damn Vector! Damn him! And now it was too late._

If the invisibility charm broke he would have to regain his concentration, take a breath, and try again…or hide like a fool with the rest of the drunken sods in the alley.

He mostly feared anyone seeing his face. They would know…well, he could always tell them that they were tears of joy that he had finally gotten rid of his old mentoring subject. He would tell anyone that passed him in the street and asked…but his voice, raspy from the ceaseless tears…he wouldn't fool anyone and he knew it.

And what he had been experiencing back at Hogwarts. It didn't bear thinking…

Some of the professors, who knew for years or who, rather had guessed that he had loved her and never said anything had been trying to make him feel better since the engagement was announced.

Hours, upon tedious hours of having Minerva, Dumbledore, Flitwick, Hagrid, and many others looking at him with pity and feeling sorry for him, which didn't help him in the least. Slughorn had retired again yet still kept inviting him to parties and after the disastrous last party, he vowed never to go again! The stillness at meal times at the staff table was deafening. And glancing over at the empty seat next to him that Vector had once occupied was murder. His misery was complete.

She had left after the war…

If somebody sent tea and chicken soup to the dungeons one more time he would scream…and then cry.

She had been his friend, his dearest friend, when no one else was, had taken his merciless remarks, teasing, and general nastiness and bore it with fortitude, had posed as his fiancée when an old sort of girlfriend came back. Had defended him when others thought he was still a Death Eater, had kissed him, usually against her will or by accident…and he valued it now after much time had passed. And realized it for what it was…that he was fearful of falling in love with her and had pushed her away emotionally and now, in reality, forever.

He didn't think it possible to ever love after Lily…how wrong he had been.

And then to make matters worse, Lockhart pitied him and kept trying to come to his rescue, that and he wanted to establish a close friendship with Snape, highly decorated hero, the co-savior of the wizarding world, to further his own floundering career. Lockhart realized to late that whatever amazing things he had accomplished, it was nothing compared to the trio of Dumbledore, Snape, and Potter. And he had to admit that even Granger deserved some more credit as well, oh, fine, even Ronald Weasley, too. He even stopped telling people that Snape was his assistant in the dueling club.

Lockhart had sent him for free…a complete set of all his published works and his very latest…_Getting over the love of your life: Gilderoy Style!_

Severus Snape thought he would vomit when he opened the lavender wrapped parcel, lifted his wand, and evanescoed the lot of it. Well, perhaps he kept the one book.

And then he heard a carriage roll up. And he saw two ladies with dark hair emerge and knew, _Damn it, it was Vector and Sinistra._

Sinistra emerged on the arm of her fiancé Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic

First lady of the wizarding world…who would have thought? Snape sneered nastily. And Septima's closest friend, much more like the sister she didn't have. Vector had saved her during the Battle of Hogwarts, pulled her out of the way of the killing curse which almost hit her as well. He shuddered, pondering thoughts he tried to stop from seeping out on a daily basis. Vector had also with a gently nudge, helped push her and Kingsley together. Kingsley would do anything for Vector; he was mad for Aurora. Snape had seen those two all lovey-dovey and it had made him sick. It really was nauseating their carrying on.

Kingsley turned and grabbed a hold of Aurora's rather unremarkable mousy brown hair, tugged at a lock of it, and kissed her. The fool blushed, and Snape, rolling his eyes, still suspected amortentia.

Kingsley, had had the girls lining up before Aurora Sinsitra, kind of like Sirius Black back at school, he grimaced at the thought.

The invisibility charm broke and he dove behind a dustbin near the entrance. He pulled in his black robes that were sticking out.

An older but still handsome witch emerged with dark blue robes and very familiar long, wavy, jet hair with a few strands of gray, and called to those in the carriage to hurry up As she appeared to use very similar gestures, he knew it was Annabelle Langley Vector, from the famous Scottish wizarding family, the Langley's, and more importantly, Vector's mum. He then saw an older man emerge with the same, the very same face as his beloved, and the same very dark blue, almost purple eyes. Leslie Vector. It stabbed him in the gut; it was far too painful for him, as he took in his breath and bit his lip.

And then another man emerged, tall, handsome with the same face, hair and eyes as Vector and knew it was her brother, Geoffrey.

And then… Doctor Dolt, the, er,…fiancé. A mediwizard with a residency at St. Mungo's and his own private practice in London as well. He involuntarily grabbed at his wand and then slapped his hand away. He was losing his grip…and her.

The party went inside talking and laughing, and Snape closed his eyes and counted to ten upon preparing to move and leave.

It was then that a force pulled him from the bin and into the alleyway. Powerful magic, he drew his wand swiftly and silently, preparing to defend himself when realization hit that it could only be…

"Why, my dear boy, are you doing this to yourself? Have you not tormented yourself enough?" It was the kindly face of Albus Dumbledore, his light blue eyes boring into Severus'.

"Headmaster I was just going," he replied and put his wand back in his robes.

"You should come in and wish them well," he teased. "I know she invited you, Severus." He tried to joke but Snape only sneered.

"Oh, no, I will not. I can't," his voice was drenched with pain.

"I would expect you should," the voice was cheerful and calm but sounded like a command.

Then he looked at Snape with concern and pity which was what changed Snape's mind.

"Come in… take all the time you need, or you will never forgive yourself. You must face it and accept it. The only way to feel better…you know I was in love once…sheer, agonizing torture, but time heals all."

Dumbledore clapped him on the shoulder, looked at Snape like he was assessing his appearance, straightened Snape's black cravat for him, turned, waved and walked in the door of the pub.

Snape knew Dumbledore was foolish enough to come looking for him and it hung in the air that if he didn't go in…he may very well hint to the party that Snape was outside.

Well, he would go in…when he was ready, and not before…

He, Severus Snape, was a highly decorated hero. Professor, Head of Slytherin House, former Headmaster, ok, for just a few months, part-time Quidditch referee, double agent, former mentor to Professor Septima Vector, a lovely female professor who had received the Order of Merlin, second class, gobstones coordinator, ok, he had to fill in for Sprout once for perhaps an hour, School Governor by invitation, and now Co-Deputy Headmaster with Minerva McGonagall, Order of Merlin, third class.

Yes, he would give himself, perhaps… five minutes to compose himself and then he would go in.

Damn it, he loved so much…it hurt.


	2. Chapter 2: Firewhiskey and Fang

**Severus Snape: Highly Decorated Hero**

**Chapter 2: Firewhiskey and Fang: Keeping up Appearances with Hagrid and Aberforth**

**3:51**

Severus Snape dusted off his robes after being flung to the ground magically by the Headmaster. He concentrated as hard as he could and cast the invisibility charm. He was perturbed with Dumbledore. He knew he meant well, but in all the fuss, Vector had gone into the pub with her fiancé that Snape had dubbed "Doctor Dolt," and he never got the chance to see her.

With the charm cast, Snape came out of the alley near the door of The Three Broomsticks and sighed. He couldn't go right in. Perhaps more than five minutes was warranted. His eyes were still red from tearing. He would need to give it some time, collect his thoughts and possibly go back to the alley somewhere and check his appearance, dry his clothes, and hope for the best. If he could cast a single blasted charm and hold it together, he clenched his teeth in frustration.

If any of their acquaintances could see what had become of him…they wouldn't believe it.

They assumed he was the second most powerful wizard now next to the great Albus Dumbledore. Severus Snape, the highly decorated hero, groveling in an alleyway outside a pub, devastated because the woman he loved to near, no, to distraction now, was marrying someone else.

First, he wished to work on his eyes by allowing himself time to make sure he would be able to not tear, at least for awhile. Also, he wanted to be well-prepared before he walked in. No point in showing up on time. He wanted to be late, and wanted to see who the hell exactly was invited. And he would need to stand in front of the entrance of the pub to know for certain.

He looked into the window of the pub and saw that Hagrid was there, next to Dumbledore and others he recognized. Well, he was quite large so it was apparently clear it was Hagrid. That and it was a pub and he, er, liked to drink. Hagrid was downing firewhiskey at a jovial but alarming rate. Well, he was half-giant after all, surely with a much heavier tolerance then the rest of them.

Snape knew firsthand. He had gone out with Hagrid…once…the day he heard that Professor Vector was engaged. And the experience wouldn't bear repeating. He would probably die.

What no dark curse could do to him, a night at the Hog's Head with Hagrid probably could.

_**Dumbledore's Office**_

"I know how you feel for Miss Vector so I wanted to be the first to tell you," said Albus Dumbledore solemnly to Snape.

"What? I have no thoughts about Vector, er, in that way. I have no idea what you are referring to, Headmaster,"Snape informed him. "Really, do tell me that is not why you have called me to your office." Dumbledore believed him to be acting like a cornered animal.

"Oh, you don't, even after all we have been through, you still deny it.?" offered Dumbledore resignedly.

"There is nothing to deny Headmaster," he countered, "now I wished to speak to you as well. Argus Filch tells me that Peeves…"

"She is getting married."

"Er, not to me," he spoke in a low voice and smirked, amused. "Why would I marry her? One can only imagine that Rita Skeeter is up to her nonsense again. What about the article that said Potter was really _my _son…dearly loved that one," he spat with relish,

"really, the resemblance is uncanny," he offered sarcastically.

"Please look at this Severus." He folded the Daily Prophet and handed it to Snape. The page was folded and turned to the engagement announcements.

Snape's face took on a deathly pallor and his dark eyes narrowed

"No, it's not possible," his voice was icy.

"I am afraid it is, Severus, and I am sorry. Truly for you, I am. I know"…he caught himself.

"No."

Snape turned from the Headmaster and walked slowly, reaching out for the doorknob to his office.

He then paused with his hand on the knob and then turned swiftly back, dark robes in a swirl and sat down in an armchair near Dumbledore's desk, with his hands on his face. He ran his long, thin fingers through his hair, and bent his head lower.

Ten minutes later he still had not moved.

Hagrid who was entering Dumbledore's office said…

"Er, hello Professor Dumbledore, just heard Professor Vector is gettin'…Oh, er, evenin' Professor Snape, sorry to hear…er…oh, dear…"

Snape was ghostly white and looked like a wounded animal. He rubbed a hand over his forehead and then brought it down to his eyes. Dumbledore had a hand on his rounded shoulders and was trying to help him feel better just by not leaving him alone; in case he wished to talk about it. He knew that if Snape had heard in public it wouldn't have been er, pleasant, and was grateful he was able to call him in before anyone shared the news with him. It wouldn't have been a staff member. They all knew he loved Vector.

He knew Severus adored Vector and refused to acknowledge it to her, to anyone else, and sadly, even himself.

Dumbledore knew himself that one of the hardest things to deal with in life was regret. Snape regretted not telling Lily how he felt. Yes, she married Potter and had a son, but humans will always wonder if they could have caused a small ripple…changed how life unfolded. And he was fearful for Snape, twice in a lifetime…twice the regret of not doing more.

This would be a very difficult time for him. And he felt for Severus Snape.

His eyes were now red and bloodshot, but Dumbledore saw the wheels were turning.

"Have you destroyed all the time-turners…Headmaster…I"

"Stop it, Severus, they are destroyed, you know that," Dumbledore made it very clear that the issue was a dead one, never to be brought up again.

"Let's go to the pub….it'll take your mind off things," said Hagrid, trying to be casual but looking at Snape in astonishment.

"Go, Severus, sitting here or in your office will do you no good."

"Fine, anything, I need air… I need to think…I…" he rambled near hysterics, his low voice broke.

They walked off the grounds: the gamekeeper, half-giant, hairy and large, and the tall, pale and thin man, black robes swirling out in the night air.

"Professor, chin up now, yer' look as if someone, er, died."

"Yes, Hagrid" Snape looked him straight in the eye "…me…I have," he said in a cold whisper.

Hagrid looked at him gravely.

He apparated. Hagrid couldn't and would have to walk, but before he did…

"Professor, meet me right in front of the pub, no use takin' a detour and runnin' inter' anyone."

"Hagrid, I wish to speak to no one this evening, not even you. I just wish to get some air, have a drink, perhaps, calm myself. My nerves are…stretched to the utmost limits…and…."

"Sure, I understand, Professor, consider it, er, done."

_**At the Hog's Head…**_

Aberforth Dumbledore was wiping down the counter with a dirty rag. He never said hello when they walked in, merely nodded. "I heard your, _co-worker," _he exaggerated the words, "Professor Vector is marrying. Everyone thought you two had something going on for years…all that talk about how you blasted that Death Eater to save her… smashed right into a stone wall, that must've hurt, good, filthy Death Eaters, and you whisked her off the floor and…"

Albus was tactful, Aberforth was not.

"…from your brother no doubt…"Snape would not address anything else the man had said. It was too painful for him, and thinking about how he would have lost Vector if he hesitated in the Great Hall still gave him nightmares.

He didn't care if he was rude. His heart was breaking, no, was already broken. Nothing mattered anymore…

"No, from the paper… How are you holding up, Snape?" Aberforth asked gruffly, but trying to be kind, for him. "Really, I know you are a confirmed bachelor but she is very pretty and… should have married her yourself."

Snape grimaced and turned paler than he was since leaving the office. His lips were thin and pursed and a vein throbbed in his temple.

He turned to Hagrid and threw some money down so fast that nobody saw where it came from. "This should cover it. I am going to sit down at that table in the far corner," Snape got away fast. His robes almost hitting Hagrid in the face as they flew up and he strode briskly to the back of the pub.

"Not on yer' life, I'm buyin'" You had a rough time of it today…er, least I could do." Hagrid called out after his hastily retreating figure

Hagrid looked at Aberforth and shrugged. Aberforth looked at Snape and realized that his brother whom had just contacted him and told him to keep it quiet out of respect for his old friend, Severus, was serious. Snape was a wreck. He looked not like himself…he looked grief-stricken….terrible. He could be wrong but he looked as if he had been crying.

_**Hour 1**_

And Snape drank and drank wordlessly, silently, thinking that the giant oaf, who was starting to grow on him, talked so…that he didn't have to and it was just what he needed.

His thoughts were haunted by her….

Her shiny, wavy black hair… the dark eyes almost a royal blue, tilted up a bit at the ends…the long black lashes… the beautiful mouth…the sweet face. That beauty mark or whatever they called it on the side of her face that he loved.

_**Hour 2**_

Dead silence and then Snape spoke. "Hagrid she took down three Death Eaters, not killing them, but they were no match for her, I saw it," he said sheepishly as if trying to convince Hagrid.

"Amazin'… a talented witch, no doubt about it, and lovely," said Hagrid kindly.

"Yes, and quite lovely, very lovely, in fact."

"And that's not all. You and Dumbledore and Harry weren't in the upstairs corridor."

"What happened, Hagrid?"

"Well, all hell broke loose. My, er, umbrella… the pink one…"

"Yes, Hagrid, I am familiar with it," Snape said in a bored tone.

"It is, er, well not exactly…" Hagrid forgot about what he was trying to tell Snape for a moment.

"We all know it's not an umbrella. Nobody particularly cares. You once had to exercise caution around the Ministry and that Umbridge woman but not anymore. Actually, I am a school governor, but really, you should talk to Professor Dumbledore. After Riddle and the diary… they should have let you work towards your diploma."

"And back to Vector…I know that before she entered the Great Hall, I had a glimpse of her in passing several times, but I had so much that had to be put in place." He took a deep breath remembering. "She had a deep cut on her arm, several cuts I treated later, but this was the first. The cut was caused by some curse, dark magic that Carrow had cast at her outside the Great Hall. Let me tell you, Hagrid, my poor sweet, grabbed her arm with her wand still in her hand, agonizing…I couldn't help yet, they still believed me to be on their side, but if it took a turn for the worse, I would go to her…she staggered for a moment, it was like watching in slow motion, she saw the blood on her hands, and then…whipped her wand with a crack and the force of the spell had Carrow flying backwards towards a stone pillar and it knocked him out."

Hagrid's face had sheer terror in it, Snape gushed as if his non-existent pet just won a contest.

Snape reminisced that the dark blue eyes had fairly snapped with anger, her mouth curved, she was positively in a fury and it was most attractive to him. He had never beheld Vector so angry…not even at him.

"I had no inclination that Vector was quite the dueler," he bragged with a surge of affection for her. "I wasn't sure what the spell was. It was either a very forceful expelliarmus or perhaps, she had made one up."

"Well, she is a little thing and all,' how could she er, do that?" asked Hagrid quizzically.

Snape spoke very clinically and very much like he did in class. "Hagrid, magical power depends on many diverse elements. Knowledge, emotions, intent, and even adrenaline, and nobody can quite predict how one feels when you know you are fighting for your very life. The desire to avoid death is a power in itself. I would know…"

"So, er what is expeller…er, that thing you mentioned? Do yer' think I could do that?"

"Of course, Potter did it in second year," said Snape smoothly.

"Really Professor?"

"Yes, perhaps I can show you." Snape his mind taken off his sorrow a bit, had Hagrid pressing him for knowledge which he loved to talk about and combined with firewhiskey it seemed to perk Snape up.

"Er, Barkeeper," Snape called Aberforth over, "Take out your wand."

"Listen Snape…I had a lady friend once too… I will not fight you. Spend half my life busting up disputes in this pub. Do you have a death wish…think it is going to make you feel better? Well guess what, it won't. It's not worth it and from what everyone says about you. I'm not likely to win."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Don't be foolish, why would I attack…er, hurt you? Really, I wish to show Rubeus something."

"What the hell, Snape…fine, but I am going back near the counter." He eyed him cautiously, turned and walked quickly back and muttered under his breath, "…alone too long…damned, crazed fool…" His eyes never left Snape's wand tip.

Aberforth drew his wand and gave Snape a filthy glare. He told his brother he would be patient with him but this was ridiculous…just another in a long line of his brother's weird requests.

"Ok, now what?" He yelled back sarcastically, "Are you going to make me do a jig or something?"

Snape ignored his outburst.

"Hagrid," Snape raised his wand expertly and effortlessly. "This spell is for disarming an opponent." Snape turned slowly to Aberforth and shifted his wand path, "Expelliarnmus."

Aberforth's wand flew out of his hand and to the floor.

"Accio wand," Aberforth said, "Are you done yet?"

"No," Snape didn't look at him and offered over his shoulder dismissively. "Hagrid, when you have acquired some more training, eventually it would be in your best interest to master casting spells without saying them."

"Oh, you mean like Albus Dumbledore does?" he said with awe and with reverence.

"Not the only one that can," shouted Aberforth from behind the bar counter, with a bit of jealousy.

"We teach students non-verbal spells after their first few years at Hogwarts."

"Pay close attention." He raisesd his wand, thought the spell, and lazily flicked his wrist toward Aberforth.

The wand went flying and hit a wall with a bunch of glasses. Broken glass flew about.

"Hey, are you nuts? What the hell? You're mad. Is she really worth the trouble, for Merlin's sake?"

"And then" said Snape, calmly and smoothly, "There is reparo, which an also be cast non-verbally."

The glasses returned to their original state.

"Ah, breaking items…I feel quite better…and no harm done…can't say the same, however."

"But there will be Snape," cried Aberforth, "If you don't stop your nonsense in my pub, medals or no medals. Do you hear me, Snape, I know about the…two stints in Azkaban, before you became a professor, don't think I forgot." He hollered, but he looked scared.

"Understood." He nodded. And he muttered to himself, _and yes, she is well worth it._

"Thanks Professor, think I might look inter' it. Do yer' really think I can do it, Professor, Yer' opinion, you are one of the best wizards an' all," he tried to butter Snape up and make him feel better.

"Well, back to Professor Vector" offered Hagrid generously. "I was out fightin' and poor Lupin an' his wife was there an' some of the students, an' Sinistra an' the Minister an' McGonagall an' Flitwick an'Vector," he rambled on trying to think who was there. "Slughorn, sorry Professor, the worthless duffer ran away and…"

Snape was not surprised. "He quite frankly doesn't have the stomach for it and possibly would have gotten in the way."

"It looked like the Death Eaters were targeting the professors and the Order and a curse flew out… that maniac McNair an' that… swear he was half troll, er, Goyle, an' it nearly hit Sinistra, and Vector, well, she grabbed her an' it nearly hit her, too."

Snape's face turned greenish. "I heard about that…my brave girl….the darling…my poor sweetheart…so brave.".

"Er, yeh," Hagrid couldn't believe those words came out of Professor Snape's mouth.

"_Poor lad was really in a bad way. Yeh, nobody should see him like this, they'll think he'd gone mad…maybe he was going mad?_

"Yeh, and the fightin' only got worse and Lupin and his wife were hit…well, Shacklebolt…you know he fancies Sinistra an' all."

"Yes, well, they are getting married after all…like someone else we know," Snape said bitterly.

"Er, anyhow, he flipped, went after 'em. They all did. Kept hurling hexes and curses at them, Vector and them wouldn't let up…didn't back down the lot of them, so proud of them, stood their ground."

"My brave girl…" His eyes were starting not to focus, and then Hagrid saw a tear. Hagrid shifted his body, people had entered the pub, hopefully nobody would see Snape and talk about it the next day. He knew he would never be able to take it. _A proud man…difficult, but a_ _good sort._

The firewhiskey wasn't helping. If you were in a bad way sometimes the opposite happened, instead of feeling better, it made you feel worse.

Hagrid looked very concerned and wondered if Snape would make it…."Er, they rounded up at least six of 'em, and I brought them down to the dungeons. Filch woulda' been proud, finally used the enchanted chains so they would stay put. Those Death Eater scum ran and scattered. Lupin and his wife were dragged to the side and one of the people that pulled them was Professor Vector."

"Oh, Merlin, did she have her wand still pointed up just to be sure…at the ready…dueling stance one…if anyone came around the corner…how foolish! Nobody knew what part of the castle the Dark lord was in…"Snape shivered.

Yeh, I think so, and she didn't want their bodies trampled…she told them, she wouldn't move until…"She had yelled, and Hagrid also left out the part that she was crying, "would never move until… "Hagrid started bawling.

"I know how sweet she is, Hagrid….my poor love…..such courage…fearless little thing…my brave girl…nearly a foot shorter than me." He patted Hagrid's huge shoulder as if a pet.

Snape finally got to Hagrid

"That she is, bless her, an' I think about all those we lost and…" he blew his nose violently.

And then clarity from Snape, the battle hardened, because Snape was always battling something…

"Don't. It will eat away at you. I know how difficult it must be for you, me, I've seen so much, it is a terrible thing to say, but you get used to it, I'm not… heartless as most of you think, you have to, or you won't survive," said Snape sagely and as if in a trance.

Hagrid thought that if he could apply this to his own life, he just might be ok.

"The er, firewhisky, I have to slow down, sorry Professor."

_**Hour 3**_

Tears were streaming down their faces, firewhiskey flowed, and Hagrid sang some cheerful pub songs. Snape was quietly enjoying the distraction. He believed that his singing was still not as bad as Sinistra's.

"You are still a young wizard, a hero, decorated with medals an' all, you can settle down now if yer' want to, no more fightin'…You-know-Who is dead. There will be other women an' all."

"I don't care. I don't want anyone else but her and if I can't have her, than I'll have no one," Snape sounded very stubborn and childish.

"Professor Snape, she is getting married an' all, can't you be happy for her?"

"No. I am miserable and what a fine mess I've made of it and I can't do anything and it will be the death of me," he informed Hagrid miserably.

"Well, what if she is happy?"

"She can't possibly be happy, Hagrid, with Doctor Dolt… are you mad?"

"Is that his name? I thought it was…"

"No that is what I refer to him as…it helps me…it is Burton… James Burton."

"Oh, the name… oh, er, Professor," said Hagrid sheepishly.

"Yes, I can't bear it… hence why "Doctor Dolt" works for me…common name for males but you see…"

"Do you think she would be happy with you?" Hagrid was honestly trying to help him sort his feelings out and with the firewhiskey it was probably easier now for the both of them.

He paused…. "but I would be."

"Are yer' sure?"

"I know I would be less er, miserable than usual, to be fair."

"Only this much drinking would cause you to talk like tha'"

"Look at the pretty girl over there…" Hagrid pointed.

"She's not Vector…no one is," Snape skulked, not even bothering to look over.

"Nobody would put up with my incessant and intolerable nonsense and care for me nonetheless like she did. And nobody is as beautiful as she…eyes are purple, so blue they are purple…Hagrid, can you understand?" Snape appeared to lose his nerve like that time with the Order of Merlin.

"Yeh, I was in love once…happened ter' me too…a nasty business…thought I'd never get over it."

"You were, oh, with that headmistress from Beauxbatons? Madame…."

"Maxime, broke my heart, never sought ter do it again. Those smart career ladies, dangerous…actually got mad at me fer thinkin' she had giant blood," Hagrid looked affronted.

"You must be joking. Everyone…why look at her…that is ridiculous," snapped Snape.

"Women, professor Snape, more dangerous than anythin' in the Forbidden Forest I've ever seen….loved her….went right back to France….and me…."he blew into a polka-dot handkerchief violently.

"Believe me, I know, Hagrid." His tear-filled eyes seemed to be far away, somewhere else; his jaw was clenched to stop the chattering.

_**Hour 4**_

His head was in his hands from sorrow and the firewhiskey…he could not keep up with Hagrid. _And damn it he was still tearing._

Hagrid was in his cups and now the songs were not catchy pub tunes, but sad ones.

"I can't…how could she do this…to me."

"Professor Snape, listen ter' me, what's done is done, an' all. And to be fair to Professor Vector, cause she is my friend too, ya' could've been nicer ter' her."

"I know it. Don't you think I know it? I am paying for it dearly." His face twisted with anger and pain.

"Don't do it ter' yerself, Professor, if it's not meant ter' be… my dad always said."

"But what if it was and I am just a damned fool…a bloody moron."

"Well, yer' did accuse her of being a vampire, an' a hag and sent those boxes of blood lollipops an'…"

"No more, please," he bared his teeth. "I did because I love her." He looked at Hagrid as if he was a fool for not understanding what he meant.

"Well, it mighter' been too much, but you learn an' move on. But really, nasty piece er' work there, Professor… just saying… no offense an' all."

"No, I am not angry at you, and you are right and…"

_**Hour 5**_

Snape was slumped over the table of the pub and Hagrid carried him over his shoulder to his hut. Aberforth had yelled and told Hagrid to tell his brother not to send anymore lovesick maniacs into his bar again.

He lay him down on his sofa near the fire and covered him with a blanket.

Snape woke up the next day.

"What the hell happened…ah, yes," he sighed with sadness, and he sunk back on the sofa remembering that Vector was still marrying someone else.

"Yeh, we had too much but hopefully it took yer' mind off things," said Hagrid cheerily.

"Yes, if I can function and have a mind left to begin with," cracked Snape sarcastically.

Snape tried to rise. Fang jumped on him.

"Hagrid, my head hurts and my brain may, in fact, burst open. Do tell the hound to stop slobbering," Snape snapped impatiently.

Snape needn't tell him twice. He whistled and yelled at Fang which made Snape grab his head and grip it because he heard ringing in his ears.

Hagrid was glad that Fang obeyed and didn't lick him again. No sure if it was true about him not showering often.

_**Professor Dumbledore's Office… **_

"All he did was talk bout' her and tear up… obsessed with her…Snape is in a bad way. Professor, he may never get over it. I feel bad," said Hagrid with concern on his kind face.

"His own doing, by his own hand, and the poor man knows it. He will be very hard on himself, like he always is. We will keep watch over him if he needs us," replied Dumbledore

"Fang likes him. Thought he'd never forgive him after Professor Snape kicked him when he was a third year."

"That is a fine beginning, Hagrid," said Dumbledore.

"Well, we did talk…a fine evenin'…well some parts,"

"Excellent…." Dumbledore beamed, "what did you talk about?"

"Professor Vector, Maxime, last year with You-know-Who…"

"Hopefully, some lighter topics as well?"

"Er, yeh, he showed me some spells at the pub, though I think I better tell yer", your brother, er, he's not too thrilled an' all….Snape broke a whole wall of glasses…" Hagrid avoided eye contact with Dumbledore for a few moments.

"Oh, er, I will speak to him tomorrow….and perhaps he will finally purchase some new ones. I believe Severus might have inadvertently done a service for the patrons".

Dumbledore thought about the dirty glasses in Aberfotth's pub ruefully.


	3. Chapter 3: A Cold Hard Dose of Some Good

**Severus Snape: Highly Decorated Hero**

**Chapter 3: A Cold Hard Dose of Some Good Scottish Sense**

_**Two Days later…The Dungeons**_

Severus Snape got up when he heard a knock at the door. He rose in his gray night shirt and got the door to of his office after leaving his private rooms.

When he opened the door a tray was on the floor and nobody was in sight .If he had been a few seconds earlier he would have seen the two house elves; one refused to go the dungeons without back up, leave hastily.

_Merlin's beard!_ Even the elves were avoiding him_. Tea and blasted chicken soup…again_?

He was heart broken, devastated, he didn't have a bloody cold! As if he even had an appetite anymore.

It was the only time in nearly eighteen years that he took a day off. He had taught yesterday…in a daze, and somehow got through the day. He was also still recovering from a night with Hagrid. But Dumbledore suggested that he take one day off and relax. Also, he broke an official school record. He deducted the most House Points yesterday in the history of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. No House was neglected, not even his own. He also put several people in detention for looking at him and that is when the Headmaster intervened.

The cheers could be heard down to the dungeons. He heard that Gryffindor was throwing a party in their common room this evening to celebrate. Horace Slughorn had been contacted to fill in for him for a day of lessons and to cover his classes. Severus Snape was still morose and also feared that the effects of drinking at the Hog's Head with Hagrid might never go away. He certainly overdid it the other day, but he was beyond caring. Hagrid meant well, but he may have to refuse another offer in future. Either that or he could just go right ahead and carry on with donating his organs to the apothecary.

He placed the tray on his desk and then heard someone refrain from knocking as they entered the door to his office.

He cursed himself silently for forgetting to place the charm back on.

Minerva McGonagall entered the dungeons. "It's so cold down here, so dark, er, depressing, no wonder you're not right in the head."

"Minerva, please, my head…and it's nearly two days later."

"The ghosts are frightened and Peeves hasn't pulled any stunts in almost 48 hours, clearly a record."

Snape looked at her with a sullen expression and made no response.

"I heard… that the Baron is avoiding you…and that you have been discouraged from visiting the Astronomy Tower."

He still looked at her blankly.

"It's enough now, Severus. What do you have to say for yourself?" her demeanor was hard.

"I don't care. I will never frequent a pub or any other drinking establishment with Rubeus Hagrid again. And I wish everyone would leave me alone, please," the black eyes snapped, and he sounded like a rebellious teenager.

Minerva had seen him act like that when he was a boy at school. Still she pressed on unimpressed with the answers he had given her.

"The Gryffindor hourglass has a crack in it from the weight of the rubies at the top and the force with which they soared back up. I asked a student from your House where you were and he looked frightened and pointed wordlessly to your office."

She walked toward him, her eyes narrowed, and her body shaking. Snape knew she was quite angry.

"You have got to stop this, you are not yourself! And you are not only a professor and Head of House but you are school governor and co-deputy headmaster with me, and I will not tolerate this." Her face was red but tears stung her eyes, and then her voice croaked with sympathy.

"And I, who know you since you were a boy, will forget our professional working relationship for a minute, to hopefully knock some sense into you."

She walked over to him and smacked him upside the head. He was tall so she had to reach her arm up. She still hit her target. "You are pining for her, wasting away… and it is most selfish on your part."

"I have seen you torture the poor girl mercilessly as her mentor, send cockroach clusters and those ghastly blood lollipop, er, things to her rooms, you have insinuated she might be a vampire and brought her gifts befitting a hag."

And then her face softened.

"But I have also seen you give her flowers, look after her without her knowing it, and…save her life."

"Severus, she is happy and for your benefit and hers you must leave her alone."

She saw that he looked annoyed and now had his arms folded over his chest, she wasn't sure any of it was sinking in. He has always been stubborn and independent.

"I am sorry. I just wish that you would feel better. You have done so much for us, for the wizarding world, and you deserve it. You must think, Severus. What will truly make you happy now that we are safe? Your work is done, and even though you torture yourself and refuse to admit it, I am telling you that you have every right to be happy. But you are the only person that can make it so. Your past has been righted… that is what matters, so sulking and woefulness, feeling sorry for yourself, won't do anymore. There is no excuse anymore perhaps that is what is ailing you?" She was right and she knew it.

"I hope to see you in the Great Hall for dinner. And, I thought I should tell you so you know first, that Professor Dumbledore has finally filled the Arithmancy vacancy. The chair will be filled at the staff table tomorrow." She looked at him with pity.

"And by the way, I awarded some points and I may soon have a lead for the House Cup, after what went on yesterday."

"Very optimistic… on your part, Minerva," he informed her sounding a little like himself.

He still wanted the cup, a good sign.

"It is the only way to be."

"It's this, Minerva," said Snape gravely. Snape picked up the announcement. He had five copies in different parts of his quarters and showed it to her, as if she hadn't seen it.

_**Septima Vector and James Burton to be married**_

_Septima Emma Arabella Vector and James Carlton Burton with their families have announced their engagement._

_Miss Vector was an Arithmancy professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, formerly worked at Gringotts bank as a curse breaker and is currently employed as a freelance advisor to the centuries old bank. She was born in Wales, attended the Welsh Wizarding Academy, and was a member of the Order of the Phoenix, who played an important role at the Battle of Hogwarts. Miss Vector received the Order of Merlin, Second Class and now lectures part time at her alma mater, while pondering the many offers that have filed in as a former Order member._

_Mister Burton, also from Wales, attended the Welsh Wizarding Academy and grew up near his intended. He is a mediwizard at St. Mungo's and holds a private practice in London as well. He is on the board of St. Mungo's and is a medicinal_ _law reformer_. _Childhood sweethearts, Mr. Burton proposed to Miss Vector while she was lecturing at her old school._

_Both from Wales, they will make their home there._

Promise me you will get rid of it," she looked at him severely. Her glasses riding down her nose as she stared at him.

"I wish to look at it once more…and…" he said softly. He did not meet her eyes.

"Promise me, Severus."

"Fine," he snapped.

"Go…go put some water on your face. You are a highly decorated hero. I won't hear anymore of this. I'll call Dolores Umbridge," she threatened.

"You wouldn't," he smirked.

"I tried, boy, I tried. Actually I would be right down here with you, after I transfigured her mouth shut, of course."

And as she turned to leave the dungeons, she gave him a rare smile.


	4. Chapter 4: Lamenting a Luncheon

**Severus Snape: Highly Decorated Hero**

**Chapter 4: Lamenting a Luncheon**

**Two weeks later….**

So he did the only thing that made perfect sense to him….he saw her.

He thought it would help. It didn't. Because he was the most detached, awkward fool imaginable when he was around her and the engagement announcement hadn't helped his emotional equilibrium.

And the day hadn't started off well and it probably carried over into the lunch as well.

It was difficult getting to the Leakly Cauldron. First he had to make his escape from Hogwarts and the people that er, worked there. What with their carrying on so, he barely made it out of the Great hall unscathed.

_The Headmaster:"Severus, I know you will go ahead….but do you think it wise?"_

_Hagrid:"Aw, Professor Snape, why are yer' doing this to yourself? Let's go to the pub."_

_Flitwick:…slapping a hand to his head and shaking it repeatedly and muttering._

_McGonagall:"You are a fool…is it necessary to do this to her and stir up grief for yourself as well? Are you even thinking rationally anymore?"_

_And Sinistra wasn't there… she was probably en route to Wales with some of Vector's things because she had been helping her do her final packing. For some reason, even though she had left awhile ago, Septima hadn't completely taken everything out of her office and quarters. But now that her replacement was coming, she had to._

So, he ignored them for the most part. After a litany of protestations, eye rolls, Don't-do-its, and palms being slapped to foreheads, he was off to the Cauldron.

The owl he had sent yesterday had reached her and she had responded and said that The Leaky Cauldron at 12 was fine.

He entered the Cauldron amidst waves and cheers. He was one of them. The wizards that had saved their world at Hogwarts. He couldn't imagine how big Potter's head got when he was greeted in such a way. The chosen one. Though he didn't hate Potter as much as he once did, it didn't help when he visualized James Potter being over the moon at his son's accomplishment if he was still among the living.

He saw her alone at a table in the private room that was not so private because necks craned through the small windows to see who was there.

And he saw the long dark hair and purplish blue eyes and lovely face and his stomach flipped. He strode over to the table and took a seat. She had smiled when she saw him and waited for him to sit before speaking. As he sat slowly, he noticed the huge diamond ring on her left hand.

He smirked.

"Good afternoon, Vector," it wasn't quite his usual sarcastic greeting but the ring had taken him aback and he had shut down a bit.

She hoped he was feeling ok, he looked pale to her.

"Hello, Severus. Merlin, it's been months, hasn't it?"

"Yes, I believe it has. And you have been busy?" It didn't come out as he had hoped, because now that she was in front of him, and the engagement fresh in his mind, he was faltering, and his demeanor was starting to chill in defense.

"Er, why yes, I am sure you have heard." She seemed nervous.

"Yes, and my deepest congratulations." He did not make eye contact as he grabbed an old brown pub menu and studied it intently.

"Thank you and I am glad that you invited me to lunch. I may not be in around for awhile after this."

"And why is that?" he snapped and then remembered himself, trying with all his will not to appear disappointed.

"Well, the new job, spending time with my parents, the wedding plans…"

"Are you ready to order," he cut in. The pain was too much….

She was taken aback. He was never much of an eater. "Er, yes, the shepherd's pie, my favorite," she looked at him strangely.

"Very well, I will have the same," he offered coldly."

He raised a hand and motioned for the barmaid to come over. He placed their order and the smiling barmaid nodded and swept off.

"So, er, why did you invite me to lunch? A bit of a surprise…I haven't heard from you in awhile, Severus," she asked pleasantly and mildly curious.

"Well, as your former mentor I can only guess that it was the decent thing to do."

"So you really don't want to be here then," she seemed puzzled and a bit hurt.

"Do not put words in my mouth, Vector. It is the least I could do," he said with generosity and failing to look at her face again.

"Oh, really, makes me feel so welcome, really, Snape," she threw out sarcastically.

"Vector, you know what I mean. Now, why would you leave Hogwarts to work with Gringotts. I can only imagine you received the greatest offer one could acquire, to my knowledge. Work as an Arithmancy teacher, and consult Gingotts as you wished for freelancing. I don't understand why you chose to give that up."

"The war changed things for me, Severus. I am not sure I wanted to go back to Hogwarts full time. Too many memories and after what happened I wanted to be closer to my parents and not so tied down here. Everyone is in Wales, my parents, my brother, my fian…"

"Yes, I suppose one would consider this." He grimaced and didn't hide it.

"And you are probably thrilled I am not in your way anymore, not sure they will ask you to mentor anyone for awhile. An experienced, tenured staff and my replacement is older than me and has teaching experience so…"

"Yes, it does allow me more free time I must admit." He noticed that she was drinking a gillywater and that he had forgotten to order a drink himself not that his throat was getting dry. But he would not order firewhiskey. The affects in this situation, with her here, one could only imagine…

Her face fell. "But I miss everyone. Dumbleodore, McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout…even you. And I see Aurora all the time so it's not like I am falling off the face of the Earth, you know." She looked at him meaningfully.

_She was a fool. Didn't she realize that to me, it was the end of the earth? _

And it warmed him to hear that she missed him. Because she couldn't possibly fathom how deeply he had missed her.

"I have, er, thought of you from time to time." He could hex himself for revealing this much.

"Really? Me too. Merlin, five years since I started working there…since I was your mentoring subject. The time flies and so much has happened. And I still can't grasp how we managed to survive it all. Especially you, Severus."

"Yes, it has." _You are_ _marrying somebody else, you fool, how will I survive that._

"So, how is Dr. Burton?" He would never say fiancé, it pained him too much, and he tried to reign in the dark look he was sure he shot her but couldn't quite control.

"Fine. Busy. Leaving most of the plans to me which is just fine by Aurora. She is taking her maid of honor job very enthusiastically, naturally." She thought of her best friend with a surge of affection.

"I, er, saw the article. So you will be living in Wales permanently I gather," he asked softly. He really didn't want to waste time talking about Sinistra.

"Yes, so embarrassing. I didn't write it. Mum and Aurora and my fiancé kind of took that job over. Too much detail if you ask me," she blushed.

"It would seem so." _He _had certainly thought so.

And then she stabbed him through the heart and his eyes had nearly flew open. "So what's it like being free of me and your mentor duties?" she teased.

He loved her, really and truly he did. _But she had no tact and she could be daft from time to time._

And he thanked Merlin that the food came for once in his life and he ignored her question and the blue eyes that followed his face between forkfuls of food as if he would get back to the subject.

When it was apparent that she wasn't going to mentally let it drop, he thanked the arrival of the food again. He could stall, he could think of a response.

He could plant some seeds.

He would give her a guilt trip. Because he couldn't think of anything else to do at that very minute.

"Well, I must admit difficulty, Vector. My duties now in the face of our new world are endless…Potions Master, Head of House, Ministry consulting, Co-Deputy Headmaster, and then brewing any number of drafts for Pomfrey, to be utilized by the students should they fall ill or become injured. You couldn't have picked a worse time to defect," he replied smugly.

"Defect? Well, that is rude. _Please_ explain Snape what you mean."

"You helped us restore our world, vanquish the Dark Lord…" He still whispered his name, the name still caused people to grimace by the mere mention of it though he was gone forever, but never entirely from the minds of those that had lived through it. "As they say it is sometimes more difficult to rebuild after a crisis than during, and here you are now running away to Wales… and I have seen him, you know, looks as vapid as Lockhart… you could do much better and I am not the only one who thinks so. I believe he has what I call "Potter Syndrome." He appears to spend too much time on his hair and perhaps his appearance, regrettably."

She threw her fork down and he glanced quickly around. It was out. Partly. And he felt better. This _had_ been a good idea.

"How can one run away, as you so delicately put it, to where I was born and raised and where my family is?" Her cheeks were red and her eyes narrowed.

"Well, you did, didn't you," he sniped.

"And what have you against Dr. Burton? Upset that you can't ridicule me anymore and drive me to the brink of madness with your poisonous sarcasm and needling nonsense?"

"No. But I just can't understand why you would leave Hogwarts, Vector…and me." His eyes bore holes into hers, but the voice was low and barely a whisper.

She stopped and looked at him as if he were quite mad as she slowly sat down and looked down at the hands that were no longer gripping the sides of her chair, but were now folded in her lap.


	5. Chapter 5: Headmaster Snape

**Severus Snape: Highly Decorated Hero**

**Chapter 5: Headmaster Snape**

_Sufficed it to say…it hadn't gone well._

_She was still marrying…somebody else._

Back in his office Professor Snape's mind raced… He had already replayed what had happened at lunch several times.

And then he stopped for a moment.

_I must think on it later_… He thought wearily to himself.

For other thoughts kept rushing through his head.

He couldn't blame her. She'd had it with him.

A shame he wasn't done with her.

_Would I ever be? _

_No, I would never be done with her._

The worst was when she thought he had really killed Dumbledore. That he had usurped his position as Headmaster by being placed there by the Dark Lord after he had murdered Dumbledore in cold blood. That he actually condoned the horrible treatment of students and staff by the Carrows and others who had also been placed there.

It didn't bear thinking.

So why now, after he had seen her, could he not get the memories cleared from his mind?

_Vector had worried me constantly._

_She wasn't going to listen to them or take any of their shit._

_Apparently neither was McGonagall_. He had to smile at her stubborn gumption. Nobody could break her. She'd lived through Dolores Umbridge.

The insane Alecto seemed to thrive on trying to bully or goad them on even worse because they showed no fear of her.

_And really the fool just hung out and had nothing constructive to do._

And deep down, though the Dark Lord had placed her there, she marveled at intelligent people and felt self-conscious and inferior, very much out of place.

Even with half a brain, it still made his skin crawl how she constantly threatened to crucio Vector as she pleased, to teach her to show some respect to her_….the new administration._

_Vector ignored her, looking barely unruffled, and walked past Alecto as if she was something she wished not to step in or an irksome fly of no consequence to her._

_Until she turned a corner or believed she was alone…for I was there and saw it and wouldn't reveal my presence._

_I kept an eye on her. I believed Carrow would do it. Knew it for sure in fact…_

_Sometimes she was shaking, her teeth chattering, unnerved, but would never show that to Alecto or the other Death Eaters that came to the castle from time to time. And never to me… she only showed how much she despised me with cool, chilling, indifference, but the eyes were determined._

_They were dark times._

_And she was still leaving at ungodly hours to serve the Order. Sometimes I followed her. I saw her leave once or twice to apparate on the grounds or when returning to the castle at 4 in the morning even._

_I walked around constantly to watch the Death Eaters and to ensure the safety of the students and everyone really._

_She possessed an Iron will; she would then teach classes all day on 3 or 4 hours sleep._

_My poor Vector. And I couldn't say a thing._

_Not that she would listen if I could._

_She refused to speak to me._

_She did not call me Severus or Snape anymore, just a cold, sarcastic, unfeeling…"Headmaster."_

_As if implying I didn't deserve it or how much she hated me and to remind me of what I had done to deserve it._

_I had to constantly look the other way yet not look suspicious. She was helping Longbottom; trying to get students to serve detention with her so the Carrows and such wouldn't hurt them.. They all were: FLitwick, Minerva, Sprout; all of them._

_She turned her face to me and wouldn't look at me unless I had spoken to her. Then I got very few words and the nasty "Yes, Headmaster," "Of course, Headmaster," or "No, Headmaster."_

_Contempt and consuming hatred demonstrative in her face while she willed herself to remain calm._

_Vector had always possessed a temper I loved, that amused me. Not now though._

_One time I was walking down a marble staircase and saw the front doors open. It was Vector returning from somewhere._

"Miss Prim and Proper is making her grand entrance," screeched Alecto, _taunting her, daring her to strike first._

_Septima walked right by Alecto, went up the stairs, and said nothing._

_Septima turned around casually three steps up as if she were a monarch carelessly addressing her subjects._ "Yes it is. I have arrived. Are you quite finished?"

"With you? I haven't even started yet. Watch yourself and your tone or I will have to tell the Dark Lord," she threatened menacingly.

_Which is precisely what I didn't want, as I hid at a higher landing where nobody could see me. Usually, I waited until I knew Septima had safely reached her door. Tonight I would try to speak to her. I hadn't really seen her in three days except at meals in the Great Hall._

_How I wished we were still working together. Or that she was still my mentoring charge and I knew she'd been in the potions classroom at least once a day as in days of old._

_Such wonderful memories….So funny now….so sweet….so sad._

_Vector said nothing and pulled at the hem of her long robes and dress, and gracefully lifted her head and ascended the staircase as elegantly as a queen, straight-backed and proud. She had worn a brown and black striped dress. And a black hat was perched to one side with her long, wavy hair not moving as she walked. That was an art. The art of I-just-had-the-last-word and she made quite a vision to me after three days of not seeing her. And then the last words of the victor. I was not sure Rowena Ravenclaw could have pulled that off quite so effectively in her prime._

"Drop dead… you worthless insane bitch," _she muttered to herself_. "So dim… probably crucio yourself by accident really."

_I tried not to laugh. Most likely the only time I had genuinely smiled in quite some time, even while alone. It was a foul yet accurate depiction coming out of that pretty mouth of hers. Carrow had become a Death Eater around the time that I had and then her brother followed. They had't changed much._

_I stepped out onto the landing as she passed me._

_My stolen moments with her… I had no one. It kept me going._

"Good evening Professor Vector." _No snark, I just looked at her sadly. I always greeted her first and inquired about her health. It was all I could do._

_She didn't bat an eye. Didn't care if I had heard her or not._

"Good evening Headmaster."

_She walked on. I was dismissed._

_It tore at my insides. I couldn't tell her the truth. She hated me and it was the worst I had ever felt._

_To have someone that you honored, respected, and loved that thinks the very worst of you._

_And then one night…._

_I heard the commotion before I reached the hallway. She was sticking up for a student. Alecto hexed her and it scorched her wrist, there was nasty a red weal on her arm._

"Is that the best you can do?" _She smiled a sickening sweet smile and started_… "My heart is a few inches to the left." _Luckily, I had heard the exchange and walked over to them quickly but not appearing to do so._

"Go back to your Houses_," I_ _ordered the students_. "Expect to see me in my office in the morning."

"Carrow, may I have a word with you?" _I inquired. I walked a few feet away from Vector and Carrow followed my lead._

"Yes?" _She feared me but not as much as the_ Dark Lord.

"You are here at the Dark Lord's request, are you not?"

"Yes."

"You are aware that once Potter is dead he wishes to rebuild the wizarding world and will need people to do that? Especially the youth…Which is why he once sought a position here…in order to rebuild a new world in his vision."

"Yes." _Her expression was surly and mutinous._

"Then your actions, it would seem, are counterproductive."

"Oh."

_It would not stop her; she was dull. But that night it would._

"Did he not say at the last meeting that the students were not to be hurt or the teachers unless he said so or you had good reason? Why initiate rebellion and give them a reason to rally around Potter?"

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that."

"Well, you are not carrying out his wishes. Don't you believe our lord knows a lot more about the art of manipulation than you do?" _I added._

_The ugly pig-like face turned pale_. "She is a stuck up piece of baggage and was lucky I hadn't gotten around to her charming little face yet." _She pointed a heavy arm and a huge hand at Septima._

"That will not be necessary." _Perhaps a spot of sour grapes? Vector was a hundred times more lovely than her. Actually lovely was not a word used to describe Alecto…a cruel, relentless fanatical maniac. Very much like Bellatrix."_

"Would the Dark Lord want a mass of illiterate, uneducated students graduating from this school? His school now…remember, to leave these halls and enter the new world he is building."

"NO."

"Then they will need teachers in one piece to instruct them in order to do so. Unless you have an arithmancy replacement in mind on the Dark Lord's orders that I had not heard of."

"No. Er, too complicated…who would bother to teach _that?"_

"Precisely. She is weak and of no importance. Leave her be. We are fighting a war. Leave the small inconsequential battles for the bigger picture in mind. Be overly heavy handed and we have more work in getting someone to tell us where Potter is when he shows up and he will eventually. He is somewhere after all. He cannot run and hide forever; he will surface."

"You are right, er, Headmaster."

"You may go and retire. Class is at 8 tomorrow. I will deal with her insolence."

"Yes. I will go."

_I waited until she was gone and the hall was quiet. She left quickly. She was stupid and lazy and easy prey for the Dark Lord. She was along for the ride, wanting power too._

_Vector stood there and touched her wound. She made a face; it was painful. I slowly walked over to where she stood._

"Professor Vector_." I said as softly as I could. Trying not to appear out of the ordinary…_

_She stood there wordlessly and just stared at me in revulsion…trying to play down the injury to flee my presence._

"I have something for that," I said stoically.

"You are busy…Headmaster. I will seek out Professor Slughorn, but the gesture is much appreciated. "

"He has retired. He is much older and is in bed by seven. He was my potions master after all. I can help you."

"Sir, I do not need your _help_." _The eyes blazed._

"Then you will be unable to teach tomorrow; it may get worse. I know Alecto Carrow as you are already aware of and surely it is not just a common burn. Please come to the headmaster's office and I will help you. I do not wish to look for a replacement."

"Only… if it pertains to work, a student in need, or the professional realm. Thank you no then, sir."

"I inisist…I order it." I _didn't want to sound like that but she wouldn't listen to me otherwise_.

"Very well then…" _She knew not to push me. Yet._

"I will get the antidote in my office. Meet me there in five minutes."

_She looked at me oddly._

"Will I be safe? None of your acquaintances will be there I hope."

_The words twisted my stomach and my heart lurched. She didn't trust me and looked a bit fearful. It was eating me up._

"Yes. I do not have another arithmancer in mind and neither does the Dark Lord. He has other matters in mind."

" Sure he does…busy, er, man. Do I have your word? Headmaster's oath?"

_But she looked at me as if my word counted for nothing now and wanted to make that very clear. The brave girl! I found her even more beautiful than usual. My reserve took a dive, my heart sank, but I persevered…only to save us both._

"You have my word, Vector."

_And her eyes lit up. And then she smoothed her expression. She thought she could find out something useful to the Order._

_Merlin, how I love her, I thought._

_And that she may never know how much._


	6. Chapter 6: Paging Doctor Dolt

**Severus Snape: Highly Decorated Hero**

**Chapter 6: Paging Doctor Dolt**

_**The Engagement Party…**_

_How do you remind someone that they owe you a life debt, perhaps more than one, and that if they marry someone else it would bring about devastation on a scale such that it would break your heart, thereby inducing death, and that in order to repay the life death, they should, in all conscience, break off their impending engagement?_

Severus Snape pondered this and more as he stood out in the rain outside the location of Septima Vector's engagement party as he had for the past hour or so.

He saw that the rain offered no sign of stopping. And he saw that this didn't exactly deter the undead either.

_How in Merlin's name had Sanguini of all beings happen to come across an invitation?_

He had tried to set him up on a date or two with Septima over the years to mask his burning desire to ask her to go anywhere, anywhere at all, with himself. He could kick himself, really, if he didn't possess the inclination to die first, which would cancel out any consideration of doling out bodily harm to himself,er, logically.

Sanguini was not human. So even though Snape cast a disillusionment charm for the umpteenth time that day as he stood outside the pub as he watched the guests enter, Sanguini could see him.

Sanguini did not seem to be pleased to see his old acquaintance.

"You told me she was a vampire, even though you really loved her," he hissed at Snape. His dark eyes were bloody yet milky white around the irises, which would have scared the daylights out of anyone that was not currently in the pain that Severus Snape was in.

He was so numb that he didn't exactly notice and just stared blankly at the vampire, not even surprised that he was being acknowledged though he had cast quite a clever charm.

"I am quite angry with you, Severus. Medal or not, I thought we were friends."

Sanguini cast him a look of disdain and headed into the pub. His human life coach was waiting at the door.

Snape didn't care much. He didn't care about anything anymore since she had left Hogwarts and him, forever.

Yes, he had lost her forever, so gaining the eternal, very eternal enmity of a vampire who liked hanging out with humans, and was learning to resist the desire to drain them of blood, didn't really bother him so much.

But Doctor Dolt did…he didn't deserve her…well, neither did he….

_**St. Mungo's….a few months ago…**_

So, he pretended that he had an illness that he couldn't quite diagnose even though he knew that the entire staff, knowing his genius and brilliance as a healer, though he often need not utilize this particular talent of his many, would not believe this for a second.

Really, he just jinxed himself with temporary flu-like symptoms for the hell of it.

He dealt with it, as he passed them on the way out of the huge ornate double doors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Dumbledore gave him a knowing look, McGonagall's cheek throbbed, Sprout's mouth made an "o" in disbelief at his gall, and poor Professor Flitwick just smacked a hand to his forehead, wondering if he could pull it off.

He had to see for himself….

Who was the man….the very man….that he was losing the woman he loved beyond desperation to?

The nurses in the reception room at St. Mungo's stopped chatting and placed their pumpkin-infused tea down as the black figure strode haughtily towards the front desk.

"May I help you?" asked the most brazen of them all. They knew who he was. They also knew that he had never come here before. And that he was that professor who had gotten out of Azkaban by the skin of his teeth and by the mighty purple sleeve of Albus Dumbledore's long robes.

"I have an appointment this afternoon with Doctor Dol…"offered Snape.

"Ah, yes, Severus Snape….Mediwizard Burton will be with you shortly. Please, have a seat."

Severus Snape sat down negligently in a stiff maroon armchair in a waiting room.

He patiently waited until he was called. He knew the dolt had an office and a practice of his own in London, but he visited him here where he shared duties with many others. The hell he would acknowledge that Septima's intended also had his own private practice in London somewhere.

"Come this way," said a plump blonde witch who waved him through a door and into a sterile and white mediwizard office at the end of a corridor.

He relaxed his emotions and his mind. He loved Septima dearly, but his occlumency training could help in certain situations if need be. And this was necessity.

Because McGonagall had reached him somewhat; she had a choice, and for whatever the reason, Mia has chosen this dolt to marry. He had been terrible to her, mistreated her for so long, that she finally had a right to be happy. But he still could see if she had chosen wisely, even if it were only for his own selfish, albeit very selfish reasons…

_**Outside St. Mungo's…**_

He was a dolt…

And a terrible healer….

He should have known within five minutes that he was being had…

Apparently not…

All Snape could think about was how _he_ had convinced Septima to marry him.

But he knew how she thought….how sweet…how kind she was….

And he also knew the lure of childhood loves…

They had known each other in Wales as children….

He had known Lily before they had both gone off to Hogwarts…

_**Hogwarts Castle…Two days later…**_

He also gathered that Doctor Dolt had a big mouth and was most likely a tad smarter than he had guessed.

He thought of the examination. He actually asked the "stick out your tongue, pull up your shirt nonsense," the bloody dolt.

"You appear to be fine, Professor Snape," he said as he smiled genially. "Perhaps a bit run down from work."

Snape grew angrier in the office because he was genuinely and sincerely nice to him.

He wondered if the dolt knew about his mentoring, Order, and otherwise indescribable dynamic and havoc-inducing, working relationship with his fiancée, Septima over the years.

_Did she talk about me to him? Does he know about us? The mentoring…the potions projects…the arguing…the mistletoe…the Halloween parties….the everything?_

_Does he…no…nobody could ever guess what she was to me…is to me…_

_I…I still haven't come to terms with how much she meant to me…always there…no matter my mistreatment…_

And yet he couldn't exactly hate him as he had hated Black and Potter. _He was an, er, nice fellow…_

But all he could think about was Septima.

_Merlin…if only I had another chance…I would be nicer to her._

He would be nicer to Vector much more than he had been. If only he could make it up to her. He would give anything to make it up to her.

Alas, he was the dolt, and he would pay for it dearly.

For the rest of his life.

_Just like Lily…_

_I should be used to it._

And he loathed himself even more.

_**Hogwarts Castle…a few days later…**_

And if he didn't hate himself enough, it got worse at the end of the week.

Vector contacted him.

Because her _intended _had apparently told her something and she had owled him at Hogwarts.

It made his week. His very long and miserable week…

He had been approaching his quarters after leaving the Great Hall after dinner when his owl, Charon, flew over to him urgently.

His owl gave him a look.

He knew in an instant that it was from her.

_Severus,_

_How are you? It has been so long since I have heard anything from you. I owled you awhile back and I just assumed that you were busy. I heard you went to St. Mungo's. You never seek treatment outside of the castle. Are you all right? That must be some cold. Send me an owl when you can. _

_Septima_

His sweetheart…so unlike her, so generic and bland, and not out of the ordinary unless you knew her very well. No sarcasm, not defensive jests. It was the most boring owl he had ever received from her as long as he had known her.

No foul language. She was genuinely concerned because she knew…she knew…he had never sought a healer in his life, not even Pomfrey because he could do it himself.

And she was either in disbelief thinking something really happened to him…or he had cracked apparently and really had a cold.

He would love her until the day he died, and once he thought that day would be a lot sooner than it would be now that the Dark Lord was gone and he was free.

His love…perhaps it never occurred to her in that pretty head, that he, Severus Snape, had fooled the Dark Lord, created innovative dark magical spells, saved her, Potter, Draco Malfoy, Katie Bell, and countless others, including the great Dumbledore himself…that if he certainly was sick, he could certainly cure the common cold, which is what, after creating it as an excuse to get in to legitimately see Doctor Dolt.

She was an angel, but no fool.

Did she think perhaps he had sought out treatment for a cold or…

Merlin, he loved her so much…the only ailment that he suffered from chronically.

And he thought about her unwavering kindness for the hundredth time that night.

And felt hopeless and very lonely for her.


End file.
